Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts
View
10.8k

The DNA test says the connection is anywhere from 6-10 generations back, meaning she's anywhere from 1/64th to 1/1024th Native American.

This is like, maximum, 1% Native American.

Yet, the top posts in news, worldnews, politics, bestof etc., are all acting as if this proves she is Native American.

This is absolutely insane.

I want to take a DNA test, and I hope I am one of those people who have about 1% neanderthal DNA, because if I do, I am going to claim to be neanderthal, which should get me some massive minority points, since we are extinct.

10.8k
3.4k comments
9.4k

Obligatory not my story, but a lifelong family friend who ran a special needs focused day care out of her home. I believe this happened around 5 years ago.

As mentioned, she ran a day care business out of her home, and since her child had autism, and she had all the skills an equipment to handle special needs children, she opened her home to other children with similar needs. As you can imagine, this service is incredibly hard for parents to find.

Around five years ago, the state and local governments were on a bit of a kick to revamp the rules and regulations that affected in home day care providers. Most were innocuous and weren’t that big of a deal, like having a redundancy built into the HVAC system so that temps in the house could never drop below 63° and that water systems need to always be operable, and other such human needs based rules. But others were major issues that it seemed like like ‘common sense’ rules, but it was obviously not thought through past the initial feel good fuzzies they brought.

This is were the MC begins. The county passed a new rule stating that in home daycare providers may not allow any person to enter their home that they themselves had not run a background check on. Again, sounds reasonable and was meant to protect the children. That is, until one day when the main toilet in their home started overflowing and needed immediate attention from a plumber to save the rest of the surrounding area from water damage.

But remember those new regulations? She couldn’t turn off the water, because the new regulations that required at least one operating toilet (they were remodeling their second bathroom) so legally couldn’t turn it off. She called a plumber, but legally couldn’t allow him to enter the premise without running a background check herself.

Obviously, she ignored these rules to save the kids and her home from damage. But word got back to to the regulatory body and she ended up with a “surprise inspection” later that week, where they wanted to inspect the bathroom and cite her for her violations.

But when the county inspector showed up at the door and asked to come in to inspect the house. She stated that she would need to run a background check on the inspector prior to entry and closed the door in the inspectors face.

The rules were amended later that month.

9.4k
135 comments
10.9k

Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read this long post, leave supportive & constructive comments and give gold/silver/platinum!

I am a female senior software engineer at one of the big tech companies. I've read about so many similar experiences at other companies, that naming the specific company wouldn't matter much anyway.

All employees at my company must undertake unconscious bias training, but I find that all it does is make bias and sexism covert and difficult to prove. The incidents occurred over several years, whilst I worked on different teams, and involved different people - yet the same patterns repeated.

Lack of respect, belittling and bullying

I'm shown little respect - am frequently talked over in meetings, interrupted, my remarks immediately dismissed, designs critiqued in a patronizing tone, spoken to in a condescending manner when I hadn't yet completed a task that had no deadline communicated, people stare at their phones/laptops during my presentations, etc.

Technical discussions are always so exhausting. I try to have respectful, objective debates, evaluating the pros and cons of alternatives in order to arrive at the best solution. However, male engineers use aggression to "win", even in the face of evidence and logical reasoning, because they cannot be upstaged by a woman. I've often had to pick my battles and compromise or concede so that we can make progress.

I've been bullied and harassed by a more senior male engineer, in an attempt to force me to implement his idea. After I got offside by disagreeing with him, he would stalk my work and litter it with critical remarks. If he could not find fault with my technical decisions, he'd resort to nitpicking my choice of words. After all this, he gave me a good performance rating, so it seems he felt threatened and thus used intimidation tactics to establish dominance. Two different tech leads made derogatory remarks when I was complimented by others on my execution of projects.

I was a tech lead for about a year and was miserable. Having to sit in meetings with domineering alpha males, and constantly put in my place. Some male engineers in my team couldn't accept a woman as their lead and would undermine me, refuse my help and seek the counsel of male tech leads of other teams. Other women in leadership roles have experienced the same; that they need to constantly prove themselves in order to be respected.

Submissiveness and modesty

I'm a quiet, reserved person and suffered from imposter syndrome (and still do). This invited the belittling and bullying, as described above, and people taking advantage of me. I worked under young, inexperienced male tech leads who would delegate their projects to me because they lacked the skills, contribute nothing, and take credit for my work. I've had my documents plagiarized. Tired of consistently receiving little recognition for my contributions, I started trying to make my work more visible, but then am deemed ambitious. Standing up for my opinions and trying to be more assertive then makes me hostile, apparently. You can't win.

Women are expected to be docile, agreeable and modest. Confidence is a virtue for male engineers and will fast-track them to leadership roles. The same behavior from a woman is deemed abrasive and aggressive (there's an excellent article that discusses this). My constructive criticism is taken with offence and I have been told to adjust my tone. I compared my comments with that of other male engineers and either found no difference in tone, or that theirs was much more insistent and brash - which is perceived as "influence" and "leadership".

It seems like anything I do and say is perceived negatively. On the other hand, no one has a problem with others being blatantly derogatory towards me. When I raised these issues with my managers (always male) and HR, I was told to change my perspective and to assume good intent. I was basically told to stop complaining.

Devaluing of skills, experience and contributions

My skills and experience are constantly devalued. The projects that I independently lead, design and implement have a male engineer's name added to the credits email, sometimes even before my own. People cannot fathom that a senior female engineer is capable of executing a project by herself. Questions about systems that I built are directed to a male engineer.

I've stopped counting the number of times my ideas or analysis were ignored or put down. A male engineer would suggest the same idea a week later and now it's suddenly brilliant; ship it! Or the team would implement the solution that I had originally suggested a year earlier, after several failed attempts that I warned them against, but of course someone else gets the credit because all my original analysis was ignored and forgotten.

A senior engineering manager with multiple decades of experience told me that her manager assumed that she was not very technical. She had to write architecture and design documents to prove that she was technical, something that you never see male engineering managers do.

Recently, people (mainly white male engineers) have been complaining that tech companies are lowering their hiring bar to accept diversity candidates. This is not true. Hiring committees are aware that unconscious bias can cloud their judgement, so they have diversity candidates re-reviewed in case there was evidence of bias. They are subjected to the same standards as any other candidate.

Double standards

A female engineer must have stronger technical skills than a male engineer to be afforded the same degree of respect. My performance is evaluated against a different set of standards to other engineers. I was criticized for not reaching 100% precision; any mistake is met with harsh criticism. This, and the expectation that women must be submissive rather than confident, results in no women promoted to senior technical leadership roles. Although I don't have visibility into salaries at my company, I know that the tech industry is notorious for paying women less than men for the same role.

If I complete a project quickly and to a high standard, excuses are made up for my success or implied that it was easy. If a male engineer falls short, excuses are made for his struggle (e.g. lack of documentation, poor infrastructure). Occasionally, they blame me for their struggle, e.g. "this was difficult for me to run because you didn't write a script" (although I had written detailed instructions), "why didn't you write the code in a programming language that I know" - yes, these were real excuses!

I've always worked hard, did a disproportionate amount of work, took the time to assist others with their work and wrote development guides for the team. I receive very little recognition and gratitude for all this. But when a male engineer takes a bit of time to help someone, they receive a lot of kudos.

Hypocrisy is rife. I've worked with authoritarian directors and managers, who accused me of being too stubborn just because I respectfully disagreed with their opinion.

Personality criticism

I've often received performance review feedback that addressed my personality, rather than my work. For example, that I need to be more extroverted, need to partake in playing computer games with the team, need to adjust my communication style.

Several women have told me that they needed to change the way they dress at work to t-shirts and jeans in order to be accepted and taken seriously. Wearing more feminine clothes reduced their perceived credibility.

Pressure into management

Engineers can choose to remain individual contributors or take on people management roles. Managers acknowledge my strong technical skills, and I ask for more challenging and impactful projects, but am frequently pressured to manage people instead. This feedback consistently appears in my performance reviews from both peers and managers - it is heavily implied that my duty is to nurture, coach, mentor. A manager even stated that I am selfish for wanting to develop my own technical skills.

Administrative duties

Women in the team are expected to perform administrative duties, such as organizing team building and social events, taking meeting notes and writing documentation. We are penalized for not doing these duties, but are given no recognition when we do.

Conclusion

Wow, this turned out to be a novel! If you read down to here, thank you so much!

I do enjoy developing software, but if I had known how women are treated in this industry, I would have never pursued this career. I am lucky not to have experienced sexual harassment, as other women so often do in this male-dominated environment.

And finally, here are some related articles that demonstrate how universal unconscious bias is in the tech industry:

The Real Reason Women Quit Tech (and How to Address It)

Why Is Silicon Valley So Awful to Women?

High-achieving men and women are described differently in reviews

10.9k
1.9k comments
1.4k

Pay for the SAT, pay for the SAT Subject tests, pay to send your SAT scores, pay for test prep materials, pay for AP tests, pay to send AP scores, pay to take the PSAT, PAY TO BE CONSIDERED FOR FINANCIAL AID AT MOST UNIVERSITIES (CSS Profile), if your international pay to submit tax returns (IDOC service), and that's just what we have to pay for applications! Imagine how much more we have to pay this monopoly through other tests, like CLEP, in and after college!

ARGGGH

FACTS:

This "non-profit" had a revenue of US$ 840 MILLION in 2014!

Their CEO made US$ 1.3 MILLION in 2009!

They sell our data for 0.43 $ to Universities and advertisers!

This poor "non-profit" is being FUNDED, as in given EXTRA money, by various foundations, such as the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation!

They make our broke asses even more broke by forcing us to pay money to be considered for financial aid, which we have to do because WE ARE BROKE in the first place.

and most importantly they KEEP ON REUSING OLD SAT TESTS and can not control the test's security.

PS if you work for the College Board, get your f...ing act together and actually behave like a real non-profit and not like an insatiable, money-grubbing Forbes Global 500 company!

1.4k
79 comments
5.3k

So I live on a second floor of an apartment complex with my fiancé , my neighbor below us when we moved in, we offered our cell numbers to them several times, in case we were ever too loud so they could hit us up to ask us to be quieter, they declined each time. Now the rules with the apartment are ‘ quiet hours ‘ are between 9 pm- 7am. After a week the neighbor tells us we walk too loud and we need to stop at 8 pm because that’s when he goes to bed for the night. So we did our best to adjust for him, then yesterday about 5pm my fiancé and I were going at it, and our neighbor below us bangs on his ceiling/our floor mid fuck, which killed my SO’s mood, so we stopped. Then about 5 mins later the dude bangs on our door and yells at us that he doesn’t wanna hear us fucking and threatens to call the cops or apartment management if he ever hears us again.

So, am I the asshole here for getting down, or is he the asshole for losing his shit and demanding us change our lives for him?

5.3k
782 comments
4.5k

We're Jon Favreau), Jon Lovett, and Tommy Vietor - a couple of former Obama staffers who created the show Pod Save America--a place to talk about politics the way actual human beings talk. In our new midterm specials airing Fridays on HBO, we'll be talking to the candidates, voters, and activists shaping the 2018 midterm elections.

See the trailer here: https://youtu.be/dkpcaGFhzCg

Watch the first episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37cDmnV_WS8&t=2s

Proof https://twitter.com/PodSaveAmerica/status/1051543861137268736

EDIT: Thanks for the questions everyone! This was a lot of fun. We'll be on HBO Friday nights at 11pm ET through the election. Until next time!

4.5k
891 comments
2.8k

I went to a preschool/daycare sorta thing where all the kids just kinda played with stuff and then sat around a carpet for like thirty minutes and learned the alphabet or something. Every day we would have an outdoor recess where we would go out side and have the opportunity to run around and be crazy. It was very non structured the “teachers” just kinda sat and talked. My friends and I were playing when all of the sudden my teacher came up to me with a furious expression on her face. She grabbed me by the jacket and pulled me inside and started yelling at me. I had no clue what I had done wrong I was only like 3. I don’t remember what she said to me but I remember her taking me to the principals office but the principal wasn’t there. I was so scared that I peed my pants. I sat in the principals office alone crying for what seemed like the rest of the school day. My teacher came in and said it was time to go home and that I was in big trouble. My mom picked me up and I remember my teacher going up to the window of the car and telling my mom something and them both looking back at me. I remember sitting on my bed and my dad coming in and talking to me. He was asking me what I was doing during recess. May I remind you that I still had no idea what I had done wrong. I described to him what I did during recess (normal recess things) and he left. My mom was on the phone with the principal of the school. Nothing else happened. I didn’t ever learn what happened until I was ten when my mom told me. She said one of the girls told the teacher that I touched her vagina. I have two sisters and knew what their private parts were and knew to not touch them. She told me that the next day the girl told them that she made this up and that they just acted like nothing ever happened from then on. I know this sounds like some fake political propaganda or something but I still think about it to this day. My teacher was definitely not ready to be a teacher. She was kinda crazy. I just wonder what was running through her mind to just believe exactly what a three year old girl said.

Thanks for listening

EDIT: if you are wondering why I can remember this so well, I’m only fifteen. Also this was a very scary for me and I think about it all the time.

EDIT 2: although nobody has accused me of hating women I want to make it clear that I didn’t post this because I hate women. I have two older sisters that I love very much and I have plenty of female friends. I don’t carry any disdain towards women because of this event probably because I was so young.

2.8k
430 comments
3.4k

I know reddit is fairly enamored with spiders (/r/spiderbro, etc.), but I think dragonflys are doper.

I define dopeness in this context as the combination of net benefit to humans, coolness of abilities, and ability to fly beauty.

The last two categories are obviously subjective, but arguable through examples and stuff.

Feel free to argue for a different definition of dope.

I believe dragonflys are doper than spiders (under this definition) because they:
1. Eat pests just like spiders, but without killing humans
2. Fly around like a fuckin snitch from Harry Potter, have 4 wings, are super fast, and can predict the flight path of other bugs to intercept them midair.
3. Look really fucking cool.

3.4k
189 comments
5.0k

My wife and I went to eat at our favorite out of town restaurant. We ordered a meal to share that was $15. We told them no mushrooms, due to my wife's allergy. The food came and I took a bite. Mushroom. People make mistakes, but this is a big one. The server came to check on it and then got the manager. I said just remake a small portion, because I was fine to eat what they sent. Nope. They send her a free dessert of their choosing. She didn't like it. No discount, no remake, and no meal for my wife.

Who does that?

5.0k
537 comments
r/popular

The best posts on Reddit for you, pulled from the most active communities on Reddit. Check here to see the most shared, upvoted, and commented content on the internet.

Reddit Premium - reddit.unlockproject.men
Reddit Premium
Ads-free browsing
Trending Communities
r/magnetfishing

18,856 subscribers

r/EvilLeagueOfEvil

16,810 subscribers

r/Blackops4

132,903 subscribers

r/TexasPolitics

3,220 subscribers

r/DecidingToBeBetter

239,084 subscribers

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.